Obligations.

As a new mom, I have been thinking a lot about obligations. In the past six weeks since my son has been born, my obligations have changed, drastically. In fact, I have a hard time remembering what my obligations were before I had him. As my time is consumed caring day and night- literally all day and night, to a new born, I currently feel 100% obligated to him. However, I have been thinking - what or who else am I obligated to?

“What kills us isn't one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can't turn down for fear of disappointing others.”  ― Alain de Botton

Obligations and the feeling of being obligated can often make us feel weighed down, helpless, and like we are living a life we are not loving if they are not chosen with intent. I have felt weighed down by poorly picked obligations  several times as it is easy to get wrapped up in feeling obligated to live a life to please another person. Perhaps that means doing a task for someone because you feel obligated to help them. Perhaps you cover a shift for your co-worker because you were out sick last week so you feel obligated to fix what they need help with. Maybe your mother is hounding you about a task and because she is your mom, you feel obligated to complete that for her.

But, what if these obligations are not what you want to do. It is important to make sure that your obligations are filling your life and your day with joy and happiness that makes you feel satisfied as a person. It is ok to take a step back and evaluate instead of giving the obligatory, "Yes," when someone asks you do something. This can be challenging at first if it is not something you usually do. But, as you detach yourself from unwanted business, you will notice yourself to feel free, confident, and in control of your own choices and directions.

I challenge you to make a list of who and what you feel obligated to. Revisit that list and circle obligations that fulfill you. Cross out and remove obligations that are not filling your life with happiness. This is a good practice to revisit every so often to help stay focused and aligned.